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pinksoil said:
Wow this is some really important, insightful stuff. I would suggest going into your next session, telling your T to shut up, and letting him know all of this stuff. Maybe the key to him listening is really revealing yourself, just like you did in this post... How much of what you are telling us here can you bring into session?

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I can probably recreate many of the ideas which I posted here, and tell my therapist, in therapy. It occurs to me, though, that what I need to do is to somehow remember "stuff" from my past, much of which is hidden from me. I create a lot of "ideas" which are quite valuable to me, and are definitely related to my history, but I need to remember actual events. Events that are very frightening to me. That is what I need my therapist to "listen" for.