My mom said she will keep my kiddos over night on New Years Eve. I am excited on one hand and on the other hand I'm afraid I will die before then. Last year we went to a New Years Eve party and I had a horrifying experience. I was a little terrified. We aren't going to that party this year; we are going on a date instead. Still I worry. My husband is working very late again tonight. I feel afraid still. My anxiety was heightened all day. I slept whenever my sick 2 year old slept and spent the rest of the time worrying about stupid stuff. For instance, I worried that someone would come over while my house is a big mess. Thankfully, with my daughter's help, my house is back to normal (for the most part). I also worried about the terrible example I was to my children for sleeping the entire day away. I am afraid that something bad will happen to my children. I am thinking of only the worst and I am having difficulty talking myself out of it. What would I do if I lost one of my children? I would never be able to function again. Oh well. I just wish I could come down from this cliff and survive but I'm finding it exceedingly difficult.