After her first year of college away...she came home for summer...my husband planned and attempted to murder me..left me bloody and unrecognizable...she came home and found me...saved my life.

I learned to walk and talk again...husband is in jail for attempted murder...I was on over 12 prescription pills for traumatic brain injury, back surgery, etc...and began to drink to cope with pain and ptsd....

she did not go back to college in the fall and stayed with me ....she went to college locally....and I lost everything...the house, etc....and lived in a garage of my brother....my daughter rented a house as she went to school full time and worked full time....moved me in...

I began working a little to help out....it was too much loss ....I tried to kill myself with overdosing and went into the hospital for over a week....she could not handle it...understandably....that broke my heart that I was not stronger to be her mom...she became the parent...and she gave me an ultimatum to go into treatment or we were done....I drove home and got a dui (my first ticket ever in my life...)....that was it

she confronted me and I was so sad and hurt and in despair....at the lose of my home with her....not being strong enough to cope.....losing her love and respect...losing everything....I just drank.....and then she and I got into a fight and I said some really aweful things.....

.....it was 8 months ago....she is so hurt....we were so close.....this brutal attack changed her world ....she lost her mom that she knew...she got my mean spirit.....she is done with me and my selfishness.....I send cards...I cleaned up my system from everything....8 months of unconditional support when she locks herself out of her apartment, loses her phone, needs support....but on Christmas ....she came to my home with nothing...no card...nothing...she was in a state of contempt.....(I have a steady job, a new place, and nice roomate, and am very healthy and etc)

..I could not stop crying when there was not even a card...she was so full of contempt and really just said....she lost all these years....and Look At Her....

she said she was done...and left....she will not have anything to do with me...I am in such despair...Ive had such a great relationship with her and now it is so damaged....she is so hurt....

I am in great grief of the loss of her and I ...and I can not go back in time to change anything...

....I want my daughter back....I want to love her unconditionally....I will do whatever it takes!! Open to any and all input.....I want this to heal for her...