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1. Narcissism is about heaving a very deep, intense fear of shame and having horrendously low self-esteem, and starting in childhood, the person develops a "false self" and spends their life (without treatment) trying to convince themselves that the false self is real. Actual narcissists can be very self-centered, stubborn, deny a lot and so on.
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I don't know about all that "false self" stuff, but the fear of shame you're describing is something that does resonate with me. I will do anything to avoid being shamed in any way.