Thank you so much, CopperStar, for your reply and insights! That's very helpful...

Thing is though, I can defend myself and always do in the face of abuse. But abusers somehow sense a vulnerability in me.. maybe it's my extreme sensitivity.. or maybe my need to please others and be liked... maybe they sense that they can easily wound and hurt me because I am so very sensitive?

But I think you're onto something... even though I do protect myself, ie, I stand up for myself and push back when I need to, they must sense that I cannot, as you're saying.

With my boss, yes, she knows I cannot just leave my job. So she does have the power over me.... I do stand up to her too, though, and defend myself whenever she tries to accuse and blame me of something I am not responsible for....

I don't know.... just wish it would stop happening.... I need to be tougher.. or exude a tougher exterior.. kind of like don't F with me kind of attitude. I just don't have it fully.