Quote:
Originally Posted by divine1966
Well if a white woman cannot understand racism then by this logic people can only understand what they experience first hand. That's ridiculous. What kind of life would that be? We'd only stick around people who are just like us. This is twisted logic. And generalization
I teach special Ed and I have a fiancée with disability but I don't have a disability so I can't understand my kids and their struggles and what my partner goes through? So must I have disability to be able to understand people with one? Really?
I have many non Jewish friends who very much understand what means to know that your great grandparents and all your grandparents' siblings perished in concentration camps. I never knew they must be Jewish to understand holocaust or anti-semitism.
I know many gays ( primarily my daughters friends but some through PFLAG). Neither I nor them ever thought I must be gay to comprehend their struggles!
If we believe the only people who can truly understand us are people just like us, then we are limiting our life and our experiences. I personally stand for diversity and do not support stereotyping and defeatist attitude.
This particular therapist might not be understanding, not that none can understand .
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I never said a white person couldn't empathize or understand racism. I said a white person could never
fully understand racism. And of course I don't think we should surround ourselves with people who are exactly like us. But when discussing the systemic injustices we face, we will only find
complete understanding from people who are victims of the same injustices. If the situation were a friend felt their friend weren't wholly empathetic to the racism they experience, I would not advocate dropping the friend.
However, this is a situation where the OP seems to be experiencing considerable psychological suffering on behalf of the discrimination she experiences. She consulted a professional in order to receive help and healing for this very serious issue. The individual she consulted is blinded by privilege and therefore will never be able to entirely identify with her. Therefore, the therapy will be ineffective and the OP will not heal. In a situation such as this, I think the only way for her to fully heal is to discuss the situation with someone who has firsthand experience with racism.
Privilege blinds people. That isn't stereotyping, anti-diversity, or defeatist. That is a well-documented sociological phenomenon that has been observed through the ages. My experiences with homophobia may be validated, but will never be fully understood by a heterosexual. Her experiences with racism may be validated, but will never be fully understood by a white person. Therefore, when discussing such issues, I think it's more productive to work through them with people who are victims of discrimination themselves.