yea im sorry i didnt give an update....actually things are alittle better.....i still pay....and with alittle muenvering on my part i was able to get that closet space and alittle while ago after having a really nice day with the bf i got home and we got yelled at and thats when i yelled back and told them whats what and what needs to stop and what needs to happen...i yelled but provided back up with my arguements....i love him ...he as an individual makes me really happy....its just so hhard to get used to being a minority...and apparently he does stick up for me...he just doesnt always tell me....its so hard being surrounded by a different culture....with a different language...and i dont always understand the things they do...and sometimes they annoy the heck outta me...and thats mainly because my mother made me hard and cold and i am finding it really hard to connect with people...including his family....because i never had a family...like one stupid argument we had was we tell his family where we are going....to them its common curteosy....as well as to alot of people it is curtoesy...however i was brought up that no body cares so why say anything....its a sign of weakness if you extend these sorta things to parental figures...or at least what they taught me...what you guys mostly witness (and this is my fault and i do deeply apologize) is an inner self battle between my abused self and the self that wants to be with the family and wants to move on and wants be a part of this family.....i might not make any sense...if you need more clarification ill try ....thank you for being so supportive...i must be so confusing to deal with ....thanks ((((((((((wantstofly)))))))))))

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