Agree.

And I do not believe that having a PD = I can get away with abuse.
Excuses should not be made for abuse.
My mother was NPD a cold creature without empathy.
Could she help it?
Um. Mother knew what she was doing she took great glee in causing me hurt (mostly emotional) She used to say with a smirk 'You don't have to hit someone to hurt them'

Then, to get someone suggest 'she couldn't help' it and that I should forgive and 'understand' her is hurtful, invalidating.
And by the way, in my case my mother had NOT been abused as a child, nor was she tormented or unhappy, she was just nasty woman. A perpetrator not a victim.

To assume a nasty type is automatically 'unhappy' is not correct. To believe that would be the same as me insisting every nice kind person is automatically 'happy'. It varies with the individual.

I was a helpless child, mother didn't give a f##k about me. Why should I care about her?