People who haven't experienced X can still be understanding, empathetic, and helpful to those who have. And part of being understanding, empathetic, and helpful is admitting when you DON'T know.

I'm a white woman. I've been told I'll never truly understand what it's like to not be white. I don't argue. I've never felt it was my place to tell minorities how to feel about racism.

There's nothing wrong with wanting (or recommending) a T who has (likely) directly experienced X over one who never could experience X. I like my male T, but I don't talk to him about my lady bits. It's not that I think he'd be entirely unhelpful or unsympathetic, I just think it makes much more sense to talk about my bits with people who have the same sorts of bits.