I was just in a position like this. I had been seeing a t for about four years. I was super close to her and I couldn't imagine not seeing her again. The idea of termination was just too much for me to comprehend. However I realized that I wasn't going anywhere in therapy. I enjoyed our sessions and I always came out feeling good (or at least better). But it wasn't because I was making any progress in major life areas. Just simply that I had an hour to talk about my week or run some thoughts past my t about who knows what. It wasn't that I was paying for friendship but I certainly didn't feel like I was in need of that sort of professional help. It was nice to have but I didn't think I *needed* it.

My therapist and I decided that I had been in therapy with the same therapist for a while and that it would do me good to just go experience life. I think part of my inability to imagine a life without t was that I had been in therapy so long that I couldn't really remember what it was like to consider myself 'normal' and healthy. I agreed that I didn't want or need another therapist. If I felt that there were still major issues that needed to be addressed, I would go see someone new. At least I would be getting a fresh perspective. But I didn't feel that was necessary.

We terminated with the understanding that I could always come back. But that I should take the next step in my life to going out and experiencing what the world had to offer. As comforting as having a predictable person was for me, it just felt like it was time to take this step. I can't really explain it much better than that. It was horrible and I was so sad to say goodbye. But we both said 'goodbye for now' (those were our exact words). Somehow, that phrase was more reassuring than just plain old goodbye. I still miss my t but I feel like I am growing as a result of that loss. And I cling to that.