How deep it cuts! Nobody can cut me deeper! Thinking about the truth to her statement-- "Do you get some kind of joy out of making me miserable?"

She essentially called me a sadist. OK, so am I a sadist?

First of all, I have had very little joy for a very long time. The joy I feel are at moments... My kids say something cute, I make myself laugh, there are moments of love and bonding between me and my husband, and I actually enjoy my mother's company and doing nice things for her like taking her out to a nice lunch and shopping.

This does not sound like getting joy from causing pain?

Ahhh, but let's delve deeper. This is how her demonic statements can cut to the core. See, there's dark truths in everything. With all my generosity and seemingly good intentions, she is managing to point out that she sees there is such deep, dark evil lurking within me. I really want to just cause her misery and I get JOY out of it. Ouch.

Maybe I'm a massochist and I get joy in an even more twisted way. Maybe that's why I have this tangle with my husband, too. See, my mother is exceptionally brilliant and perceptive. She can blow you away with a word because it's true.

When my sister was just about to take her first steps down the aisle at her wedding, my mother said to her "Remember, this is only your first wedding." Isn't that special!?

Now, if and when I confront her about the comment she just socked me with, she will say she doesn't even remember saying it, tell me to get over it, and say that she just says things she doesn't mean when provoked.

What I wanted from her was compassion and for her to cut it out with her vain ego trip. I am still a toddler wanting Mommy to pick me up and she won't!