Hi,

Sorry you are struggling. To me, it sounds like you are holding on to a belief system and a set of values that is not getting you the results you want in life. You might need to adopt a completely different set of life fundamentals to get more out of life.

Assuming you have resouces, ie health insurance and/or money, I think you should seek at least 6 weeks of comprehensive full residential inpatient care. You sound close to full blown crisis and need to be open to the best therapy and medical treatment you can afford. An open mind to completely redo your approach to life should serve you well.

Good luck, welcome to PC!

moogs