I have a fairly good pdoc. My town has a severe pdoc shortage so fairly good is a big blessing. Where I used to go I had to wait six months or more between pdoc appts. This one is much, much better. She was thinking bipolar 2 before I was hospitalized, but I had been resistant. I didn't believe it, so unconsciously I did everything I could to make her doubt it too.

Now, I am on lithium, lamictal, a prn for anxiety. Also I am being weaned off effoxer.

My therapist (i see weekly) recommended journaling and outside peer support online which is how I ended up here. I do both.

I have a terrible problem admitting pain, weakness, or I need help. I am applying food stamps today. I am ashamed my financial situation has gotten so bad. I should be handling this better. If I hadn't spent so much when manic, I wouldn't be in this position. I was taught to never ask for financial help from the government. This is very difficult for me. I obsess about my bills constantly.