This doesn't make any sense, even to me, I've been at a minimally normal weight for about 6 months now after a very long medical hospital than inpatient treatment last year and early this year. I then went back to work, but I got sick soon after returning. I got a couple infections that got into my bloodstream, so I was septic a couple times, ICU and all that and I lost some weight, but I gained it back. Now I'm looking at going back to work after one more surgery in a couple weeks or maybe a month or two and all I want to do is lose weight. I feel like I was so sick, yet I look healthy and I shouldn't. I don't know, I'm just overwhelmed by urges to lose weight, like I want to prove to the world just so I can validate being out all this time. I don't know if anyone has any advice or can relate to this, I just wanted to put it out there.