This has been on my mind lately since so many decisions are continually being made in my life right now.

Let's see, do we try to run through all the possible outcomes in our mind & try to make the decision that will hopefully cause the best possible outcome for us?

Do we get so overwhelmed by all the possible outcomes that we throw our arms up into the air & say...."I give up"?

Do we listen to gut feelings & let our internal voice help us make the best possible decision?

Do we know that we have decisions to make & just procrastinate about making them, hoping they will go away & we will never have to deal with those decisions?

Do we just let things go & by not making any decisions, end up making a decision anyway by just letting what ever happens be the outcome & say that we had nothing to do with?

Do we listen to all the justifications of the other party & let that make our decision or do we also make sure that we listen to our own input & not just the justification to base out decisions on.

I'm sure there are hundreds & thousands of more senarios that take place in every ones lives. Making decisions is stressful. When we make decisions, we have to take responsibility for the outcome of those decisions & we have to live with the outcome of our decisions, whether we have made them consciously or unconsciously, they become our future.

When I was looking for bar stools for the kitchen island in my new home, I got onto the internet & found one site that had thousands of choices. So many choices that I became so confused I just left the site & left the decision of getting the bar stools for later. It was a decision that wasn't time critical so it didn't matter that I didn't make the decision right then....it will need to be made in the future & will hopefully not get so overwhelmed the next time.

I was in a situation at my new home where I was being told that everyone in that horse cummunity does that. They were justifying the action that I didn't feel comfortable with & didn't want to be a part of. I could have felt pressured by the justification into accepting the action into my life, but I had to make a decision as to what was right for me & not what was right in that community. That took me back to my school days when others would tell me that don't worry, everyone else is smoking ***. It's ok because everyone does it. I know that above all else, I have to do what is right for me, but then I have to know what I think is right for me before I can do it. That takes thinking & deciding what I think is right for me in order to do that.

It is important to look internally into ourselves to make desicions & sometimes it is hard to look inside of oursleves & sometimes it is impossible.

Sometimes we get involved in a situation where our gut feeling tells us that isn't the way it should be & we can't exactly put the words to it, but we know something isn't right. This is what happened with the home care person for my Mother when she was dying. I have to admit, I was lucky in that my gut feeling was reinforced rather quickly, but I could have listened to the justification that I was being given for that also.

Along the same note, the person who is painting my house in KY, was taking so long to do the painting I started questioning the length of time. Then came the justifications. It's not a new house & you don't know what you come across in an older house (& the dining room wallpaper that tore off the drywall when I removed it was an example of that). I knew that he talked a lot while he was painting, but then again, I was the one he was talking to & I was the one asking the questions, so I couldn't hold that against him. He's a perfectionist in his painting & the walls have to be perfect even to the 5th or 6th painting of the wall????. He brags about how much less than other painters he charges, but the pay is hourly.....so it adds up to more because he takes longer.

Gut feelings were telling me that he is taking way too long to paint the inside of the house & after the 2nd week, I started pushing a bit more. Then came the time when I should have been going back to Ca & it still wasn't close to being finished. The first time, I ended up extending my stay which cost me more money. The next time, I couldn't extend my stay & had to make a decision as to how to protect myself against the hourly situation I had gotten involved in. I decided that he had to give me a set amount to finish up & that was going to be it. He gave me that amount & then decided that he wanted to be part of the crew that was installing my windows while I was in California. While in Ca, looking back & running through all my finances, I realized that no way was I going to let him get involved in the window installation. I called & left voice messages for him to call me & discuss working on the windows & never got a call back.

It is funny however how the right things just happen however because I called the person who was bidding the building of my barn & he told me how this person takes forever & will eat up all your money doing a simple job that should take 1/2 as long.

If only I had listened to my gut feelings to start with......but how do we know when to listen to those voices. Why do we only listen to those voices when we get reinforcement from outside? Why can't we learn to listen to ourselves sooner?

I have made a major decision to not bring my husband to KY with me. There is a lot of decision processes that take to end a 32 year marriage that go from financial to emotional. I didn't take my decision making lightly but in talking with him, I found out that he didn't believe that I would ever enforce the line that I had drawn years ago. Time would go by & I wouldn't follow through until the right time came. Then came the decision making process on the other side. If I do nothing it will not happen. Nothing like that could happen to me. I decide not to make any changes & it won't matter.

Then comes the question....who makes your decisions. When we don't take action or make decisions, we actually are making our decisions. We have to live with whatever happens, but then we say that we didn't make the decision for what is happening to us because it wasn't our decision.....but it was our decision to not make a decision & by doing that, me make our choice as to our paths throughout our lives.

Decision making is very complex & there is so much thinking involved when we take it seriously rather than deciding not to make decisions. Sorry about the long post....these are just some thoughts that have been going around & around in my head lately, & just had to get them out....hoping maybe to get others input on desicion making that I might not have thought about.
Debbie