Quote:
Originally Posted by lolagrace
I have a question. Those of you who feel the therapist has the power: Do you have a tendency to equate other relationships with issues of power? Do you have a tendency to give other people in your life your power? Do you often feel powerless in life in general?
I don't mean those questions to sound accusatory. I guess I ask them because as I was thinking about this, I realized that power (who has it and who doesn't) rarely enters my mind. In some cases it is because the power dynamic is obvious and sort of a given: employer/employee; law enforcement/citizen; big semi truck on the highway/compact car  (okay, that one was being silly). Because those are accepted power dynamics, I don't give them much thought except to stay out of their way so I don't get squashed.
I don't put a therapist in that same category of natural (probably not the right word) power expectations. I seem them more in the same category as other professionals I work with: doctors, lawyers, clergy, fellow educational professionals, anyone I might hire or work with on a professional level who doesn't have the authority to fire me, order me around, etc. I work WITH these people in a variety of ways. I may ask for advice or use their services in some way. We may work together on projects or even learn from each other. But I essentially see them as just one of me. In fact, if one of these type of people tried to pull a power play on me, it would be a huge turn-off, I'd probably seek services elsewhere, try not to have to be put in the situation of having to deal with them on a regular basis if possible.
As I type this, I realize that some people would place a doctor or a lawyer in a much higher power dynamic because they view them as "the authority" rather than as a service. Is that what is going on at least in part if a client places the therapist in higher power than him/herself? Is it that they are giving away their power almost as a survival instinct because they have always felt powerless?
I'm rambling a bit. Just opening up ideas for discussion I guess. |
Really good question, Lola. Yes, I definitely do think about power in other relationships. Not friendships or anything like that, but I've always been hyper-sensitive to perceived authority, and differential to it, too. Doctors, lawyers, professors, the police(!)--I've always thought about those "relationships" being hierarchical.
I know, intellectually, that I hire these people and in some respects they're providing a service at my behest. It just doesn't
feel that way.
Even waiters would seem to have the upper hand. Yeah, I could leave them a crappy tip, but they could spit in my food. o.0
And, yes, that really does occur to me. If the food isn't right, if the wait is long, if the order is completely wrong I say nothing.
I wouldn't go so far as to say I feel
powerless. It doesn't fill me with despair. But I'm sensitive to it and act accordingly.
So I'm willing to say that, yeah, my view of therapist/client power relations may have more to do with me than with therapy in general. And I'm VERY interested to know what other people have to say on the topic.