Quote:
Originally Posted by Sparkles4me
I am so hurt. Im married to the man i prayed for and we have been married 11 years. During our 4th year of marriage I found out he has bone cancer. He hid it from me until he became so ill i had to rush him to the hospital. We have a 10 yr old son, anyway, I'm so unhappy, for so many reasons. I used to be a happy, sparky, smily, person. Now I'm always crying and withdrawn.
I go to work and i have no choice but to be open. i come home and I'm sad. i also take care of my husbands niece who has a disability and she is a lot of work to take care of. She has mental retardation and schizophrenia. I don't have a social life. I am just so sad. I don't wanna seem selfish but I'm going crazy inside.
I have no friends because i have no time for them  I always come home to sadness.
I'm trying to be strong and not dwell on my circumstances because their are other people less fortunate than me. and I should be thankful and grateful.
so why can't I shake these hurt feelings |
Shawkat2009 is totally right, you have caregiver's burnout. My favorite analogy is when you're on a plane and the flight attendent says, "In case of an emergency, a mask will drop, put the mask on yourself before helping any children or elderly people you are traveling with." Why? Because if you pass out, you're no good to them! You have to make sure that you're ok before you can make sure that they're ok. There's also this great image:
You need social outlets, friends, joy. You need hobbies and "me" time. You need to relax. You can't put that off until later because there's always something that needs to be done. You have to prioritize self-care. It's not selfish to put yourself first sometimes, it's survival. If you google "Self-care" you will come up with SO many articles and websites. There's a TED talk about the importance of self-care. This is some easy things to try:
28 Easy Self-Care Practices Anyone Can Do - mindbodygreen.com
There's actually 4.2 million hits on google for "Self-care for caregivers!"
https://www.caregiver.org/taking-car...ily-caregivers Prioritize yourself and you will have more to give to those you love.