Great subject Rayna!

I had great difficulty with the concept of higher power when I came into AA. I had spent a childhood being threatened with "God" (whatever that meant to the person threatening me I'm not sure).

Anyhow, when I came in the halls I thought I had to be religious and I was relieved when they said I only needed to believe in a power greater than myself. At first my higher power was my home group. After a few months, my higher power became my dad who passed away.

I started to call my higher power "God" because everyone else did and I just wanted to be like everyone else. I couldn't figure out why I was having so much trouble praying and I struggled constantly with Step 3 - I could not understand how to turn my life over.

I finally realized one day that due to my past threats of God, it was the name I didn't like. I also realized that I couldn't stand saying the Our Father at the end of every meeting. That it made me feel that I was lying to myself and doing something I didn't like again just because everyone else does it.

This happened about a month or so ago and I decided to rename my higher power. I thought about what I believe my higher power is, which is Energy Source. That's kind of a mouthful, so now I call my Higher Power "Source". I also begain to not say the Our Father at the end of the meeting.

Instead, I pray to Source to help me do the next right thing, stay away from a drink, and whatever else I need to pray for at that moment (lately it's been alot of acceptance!).

This is a great post! Can't wait to hear yours and others thoughts on this.

Tranquility