I thought I had depression beat. I planned to stop therapy. I had felt so good and solidly stable. Since Thanksgiving I have had one obstacle, one heartbreak after another. I could not use the healthy coping skills I had learned. Now, all I want to do is sleep and think of ways to stop the pain. I feel like I have failed and Let my family down. The worst is having my eyes open to the lack of support or attention I have experienced most of my life from my very own family and now husband. My unwillingness to let good friends know what I am feeling or facing because the shame of my weakness is too great. Abandonment and rejection are prevelant among those I had trusted and I don't know how to be strong anymore. I don't want to be strong anymore. I am frightened and destructive. I just want to be held and reassured but that will never happen. I can't see the good anymore and the losses are too many. I can't protect my loved ones and I feel useless.