JustJenny, thank you SO much! I'm touched by your thoughtful reply

I'm sorry to hear you've had problems with your mother, too. It must be hard when you're not able to pinpoint exactly what is wrong in order to maybe fix it.

My mum was really unhappy about me going to therapy, so I went almost completely no-contact with her for about three years.. I needed the space and did not need her guilt tripping me all the time.

At the moment, though, I'm living in a flat she owns. She offered it to me last year after my flat mate decided to move to another city, and I was struggling because I was unable to work. Here, the rent is really low so I'm able to manage it even with the small benefits I've been getting.

I have to say she's been a lifesaver in the past year, I never would have been able to cope without her help. It's always been this way, she takes care of me physically if I need it. It's the emotional side where it seems there are nothing but problems..

What you said about giving her space sounds really good. I think I need to let her go, too, because like you said, I cannot make her happy. It's not even my responsibility. I guess I've just always felt that if she was happy, she wouldn't have such a problem with others being happy, too. But I can't help her if she doesn't want help!

I've been wracking my brains to figure out a job I could do from home, but I have no real training for anything so I feel really insecure about trying anything on my own.. Work-at-home jobs seem to be really rarely on offer here if you want to work for a company.

Thank you so much for encouraging me to go after happiness! It really does help to hear it from someone else and not just try to convince myself of it all the time..

PianogirlPlays, I'm so sorry to hear you are struggling, too. It is so painful when it's family members that don't care. It's only recently I've begun to understand my parents are 'only human', too.. They should have made better choices, but they did the best they could with what they had (which wasn't very good). It doesn't make anything OK or the pain any less real - but it has helped me accept a little bit that their abuse and neglect wasn't my fault.

I know that feeling so well when you do everything you can to be happy and it always falls flat for one reason or another.. It is SO exhausting trying to climb back up. I actually hit a wall with that. I started to surrender to the pain and exhaustion because I began to feel like the only way out is through.. I just wish it wasn't so hard.