Those things (therapy, meds) may not work, but just sitting there doing nothing isn't working either, right? Sometimes you just have to take a leap of faith and try something new. If you don't want to try therapy or drugs, try reading some books on OCD and intrusive thoughts. There are you tube videos out there, too. Talk to someone in your family. Reaching out is a great first step. There is always hope. Don't give up. I'm sorry you're struggling so much and wish you nothing but the best.