I am a 30 year old woman. I am having suicidal thoughts because being a woman feels degrading to me. I don't like the fact that I am expected to share my body with others. I don't want other people to enter my body during sex. I am extremely scared of the idea of being pregnant and giving birth. The mere thought makes me feel extremely degraded and scared for my life. I don't want to be ripped apart or cut open. I don't want to be forced to lie naked in front of other people, being screamed at while being in extreme pain or having to empty my bowels in front of other people. The very thought of this process makes me feel so degraded that I immediately start thinking about suicide. It is an irrational fear because I stopped having sex years ago, so there is not actually a chance that I could get pregnant. On the other hand I am very sad because I can never have a family due to these thoughts.

I am in pain. I just need someone to talk to but I don't have anyone to talk to at the moment. I am grateful for answers.