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Originally Posted by ThunderGoddess
I don't like or trust my current therapist I actually can't wait to be out of individual with her, it's really unfortunate that I have to see her to continue DBT group because I love the group but just haven't felt a good connection with individual therapist since day one.
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I'm so sorry to hear this. I don't know that I'd continue to see someone that I didn't like or trust. Though I will admit that in the past I was not so discerning. So far I really like the one I have now, so I would think that if the time ever came for us to part ways the next person would have a higher bar to reach. I do tend to be too trusting so maybe that's why I never had that issue.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Lady Lazarus
I either love or hate my therapists, but I know pretty much on the first visit which way it is going to go. for example, I love my new therapist and I have only met with her twice. While i am not sexually attracted to her or anything like that, I do feel like I am going through withdrawal without her. I tend to fall for the kind and young therapists who are validating and interested in what i have to say. i despise therapists who are even the slightest bit confrontational. Those therapists never lasted long because they would be me shut down and tune out (dissociate?) which wasn't productive for anyone.
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I always have ridiculous expectations so my current therapist didn't impress me much first session. I didn't think he had what I was looking for but I literally told myself, "IT WAS YOUR FIRST MEETING!!!!!" I had to remember that it does take a bit of time to start to click and to be honest, it really didn't take long. I'm all about "labels." My whole life, I need to be able to fit things in a box (part of my struggle is I don't fit in said box so well).
On first inspection (reviewing credentials) I thought his primary experience was addiction and that was not my focus so I was disappointed. But he's much more than that and we are getting on famously. Before coming here I never thought of the word "validating," but yes, that's what he does. I've said elsewhere on the forum that as a child I never really thought I had it that bad. We had food, didn't move around a lot. Had clothes and stuff kids want - toys, records etc. But the reality is that after my Dad died, that's about ALL my Mom did. We were pretty much on our own and my mother was very manipulative. My Dad died 31 years ago, but I actually needed someone to point out that that was a tremendous loss at 13 and that it DOES have an impact.
And if I reach out to him between sessions it's OK. First off, I never would have THOUGHT of reaching out between sessions unless there was an emergency or something, but he gave me permission once and it's nice to know he's OK with that. THAT scored high in my book. Seems like he's in it to help, not make money. Though, to be fair, he's NEW. Maybe give him a few more years and he'll be disgruntled like the rest of them lol.