I struggled with that for years.....then I realized that it was my own problem in that I didn't know what or how to communicate what I needed to. It took going through 2 years of DBT weekly & learning the skills & the understanding of how to put what I was feeling into words. They can't do it for us, it's something we have to learn ourselves though it does take being taught & gaining the understanding in order to put the thoughts & feelings into words that they can understand. It is a long process & a lot of work on both sides.

I also realize now that when I was living with my H (I left 8 years ago), that he was incapable of understanding what I was saying or having any emotional connection. After researching what a T had told me when I first left & was explaining my marriage problems, he suggested the possibility of my H having Asperger's.....many months of research & I realized that had been what I was dealing with & exactly why there was a serious communication problem. I also realized that I grew up with a father who was just like my H.....so I was NEVER around anyone who taught me how to have normal communications with people or gave good examples to learn from. Its a lot harder to learn on our own when we don't have good examples growing up to how to communicate from.......DBT & learning the skills gave me the words & understanding so I could finally communicate & people started to listen & understand.