Klonopid is strong stuff. I really am glad I have it and I'm EXTREMELY glad that my pdoc is absolutely fine with me taking it with clozaril (she said the interaction isn't very big and honestly I think that she feels making me go off one med rapidly is enough of a horrible experience) but it is powerful. I can't believe how sick I got when I missed just one day of meds a month or 2 ago. Part of that was missing Seroquel too but I couldn't believe how sick I got so fast. I've been on and off valium a number of times in the last 2 years and the klonopin has prevented any withdrawl. So I forget that I can withdrawl from it. Oddly though 4 years ago they took me off it cold turkey IP b/c they didn't want me to have it while I was a danger to myself and I barely noticed. I'd been on it for years at that point and the same (or greater) dose than now but now my body seems to care more.

You've been under a lot of stress for a long time. Your husband's job, your med change that took forever, the loss of your blood, the need to go up slower than the dr expected, the stress of figuring out whether to trust your pdoc or not, the holidays, etc. It's going to come out somehow.