I feel absolutely hopeless about my life. I'm 18 years old and I already feel like a failure. I have no friends at all. My school experience was terrible and I made few friends and was bullied for a long time. Right now I don't really have any friends at all. I was bullied very harshly throughout elementary and middle school, mostly about how I looked and my mannerisms, and I have very low self-esteem and I feel ugly all the time. I have also never had a girlfriend before either, and I blame myself for that because I'm socially awkward and unattractive. No girl has EVER liked me to my knowledge and they all probably think that I'm weird and ugly, and I'll probably never be able to get an attractive girlfriend. Every time I'm placed in a social situation, I'm always quiet and awkward and it has resulted in me having very little friends throughout my life. I also feel ugly all the time due to the bullying and harassment that I received and I always feel jealous and resentful every time I see an attractive person because I realize that I'll never be looked at as handsome or attractive. I barely made it through high school and I decided to skip college, and I have a job, but I feel uncertain about being able to find a nice paying job one day and afford a comfortable life. One positive about my life is that I do have a loving family and I love them dearly and are one of the only reasons why I can be happy. I also grew up mostly without my dad because he chose not to be there. I feel so hopeless. I live every day feeling sadness and regret, and what's the point of living like this? I didn't ask to get put here. I didn't ask for low self-esteem. I'm not suicidal and I've never attempted suicide, but I'm not happy with my life.