Sometimes we women generate "war stories" about pregnancy. Sure it hurts and your body undergoes some major changes in the course of a pregnancy, but for most women the experience is worth it. The joy of holding a new life in your arms, knowing that you are responsible for bring a new life into the world was a wonderful experience that cannot be compared to anything else.

As far as sex is concerned my first experience was a rape. It was not done freely but rather I was someone to use. In my late teens I used it as a way to control me and get what I wanted.

As far as being degraded, I am sure that it feels that way when you are having sex with someone you do not love, Yet I found that when I fell in love it became a beautiful expression of love that I could not get too much of

I know that different women have different sexual appetites but sex and child bearing are natural processes, not to be feared but to be enjoyed

Having said all of that, my heart goes out to you though. It would be really worthwhile to seek out professional counseling for this. Your body is your own and what you choose to do is your decision.