bellaviolet,
First off -- major kudos for putting yourself out there & spending time with new people. I hope that over time it will get easier for you... keep trying, you're already doing great!
I'm a bit of a recluse myself -- on all but my best days, just the thought of being around anyone other than my 2 best friends terrifies me! So I guess I don't have much to offer in the way of advice.... just encouragement & good wishes...
Oh, one other thought.... try to keep in mind that it's your social anxiety that is making you feel uncomfortable, it's not because you're inferior or weird or unworthy (it's taken me YEARS to figure that one out... still struggling, obviously! lol) You're a good person who is worth knowing, and you deserve to have friends & love in your life! Good luck, I'm wishing you all the best...
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"A heavy downpour of rain. Stand and face the rain, let its steel rays pierce you, float in the water that wants to carry you with it, but hold fast all the same, just stand up straight and wait for the sudden and endless shining of the sun" --Kafka
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