I think therapists deliberately keep this sort of information from clients - what is and is not useful. I asked, read books and articles and consulted outside sources because the woman was not forthcoming. I then made therapy into something useful regardless of what the woman thinks - it is not what most here report nor is it what those people report in their books etc, but as they were all unclear and hide the ball from clients - I just changed the game. I do not consider it fun.