Hi Pinksoil (how did you come by your name?),

With regard to the empty feelings, I do feel depressed but actually all I need to feel overwhelmingly comforted is for someone to ask if I'm going to be OK until next time and look like they care. Or acknowledge that to be feeling suicidal is crap. My case manager at a day program last year asked all that stuff.

I have talked about suicidal feelings to my therapist. Her reponses were part of the reason I thought she was inexperienced. The first time I said anything I was feeling really emotional but whatever she said just cut the whole thing off. We talked about that. The second time I brought it up we talked for much longer, but it just felt like she was discounting everything I was saying, so I ended up with nothing left to say. We talked about that too.

I recently brought up the fact that I felt much more like self-harming (I haven't for years) and we didn't go into that at all. Although I always feel very apologetic for bringing these things up and usually end up making out it's not that important really. On the other hand, when I last SI'd badly it was because I wasn't getting the support I needed from my therapist which probably says more than anything!!!

Did you get lucky with your current T? Does she give you the response that that you need when talking about SI?

I think that my current T is 'nice to talk to'. It's much better to have her to talk to than noone, and I can talk about anything. But I think it's more like counselling than therapy - there's no depth. She listens and makes practical suggestions.

You are right that staying in the relationship because it's too uncomfortable to leave is just wrong. And this isn't what I want in the relationship. I'm going to talk to my group T next week. Thanks v much for your advice.