I just thought "Wow" when I read what you've achieved recently with your therapist and disclosing to your family. I'm so impressed. You can give yourself time to work out why you're so fearful about being out of control with your therapist, so that you're more comfortable with it when it happens. And as Pinksoil says, you don't actually have to be out of control, you can be angry with people and discuss the problem quite reasonably.