It's time for you to take care of you!

The military is the last place you need to be right now!

Put that on hold & get yourself a good therapist instead!

You've already got enough family of origin trauma to work through, and a good place to start with all that is to have as little contact with them as possible as you focus on yourself for a change.

As far as suicide goes, I so used to hate it when I was told it was a permanent solution to temporary problems, but it's true! ... I hope that you do not opt to go that route because if you do, there will be a hole in this Universe where you're supposed to be and that, my friend, will be a very sad thing!

Your therapist will help you find the autonomy and independence you so deserve and need, but it's going to take determination and dedication to the recovery process on your part, and will be the hardest battle you'll ever fight, but well worth it!

Wishing you the best ...

Sincerely,
Pfrog!