Hello sinking- First off, I wish you peace. I know where you are coming from. When I get that way and I use to stay that way for weeks at a time, I would put my headphones on and listen to holosync. I was so exhausted that it felt like the noise was going through my brain and that's all I could think of or imagine. But it was such a relief. It's such a good tool for me now that I don't have to go through that misery anymore. You can find it on youtube.