I'm also confused, and wondering how much of this is the therapist, how much is your brother, and how much is your parents.

First, being near or far from one's family, and the level of contact, isn't always the best indicator of what the relationship is like.

Also, I too am curious about what the argument was about. When I read your original post it sounded like it was something your brother had been working out with his therapist for some time, but the fact that it was precipitated by an argument makes me wonder if, as others have suggested, some of this is your brother using his therapist as an excuse. In the heat of arguments, my husband used his former therapist's words as excuses to behave in nonconstructive ways.

This is definitely not normal, and is highly controlling.

I'm also hoping you can explain more about choosing a side. Do you mean that your brother tries to get you to say bad things about your parents? Or do your parents also tell you not to contact your brother?

I ask because I come from a family in which neither my brothers nor I feel we have been abused or mistreated by our parents. My youngest brother did go to school in another country. Had he said something similar -- that his therapist was limiting him to monthly, pre-approved e-mail contact with our parents -- we would all be worried. My parents would be encouraging me to contact him as much as possible, both to make sure he was doing ok and to try to figure out what the hell was going on. It would hurt them, but they would not ask me to choose their "side" out of spite. They'd want to maintain some connection to my brother, first and foremost. The only way I can envision feeling this way is if, whenever I spoke to my brother, he was constantly trying to get me to turn against our parents. But at least that would give me some indication of what he was upset about.

So do your parents try to tell you not to talk to your brother? That sounds pretty spiteful and unloving to me, if so. Or does your brother try to get you to turn against your parents? I'd think, then, that you'd have an idea by now of why he doesn't want to talk to them. Does he talk to you? Do you listen, or do you shut him down because you don't want to hear it?

I'm also curious as to why it is a relief. I know you were worried about cult-like behavior, so I can see why it might be a relief to hear that your brother is not being drawn into a cult (however, I don't think his therapist's behavior, as he reports it, is normal or ok). But I also wonder whether it has anything to blaming the therapist, instead of actually going deeper into what's going on between your brother and parents.