Quote:
Originally Posted by Thunder Bow
Go a few steps further and tell him what you want from him in life, with out making any accusations. Also you are giving him a conflicting message, of saying stay - go to him. Be sure to answer his questions honestly. Also so tell him you are feeling sad: "Truthfully I feel uncomfortable, sad, and like I don't even know myself let alone him at this point." say this to him truthfully. What you may be feeling may have nothing to do with him, but has much to do with how you are feeling inside yourself.
|
Thank you Thunder Bow. I have tried to communicate my wants/needs as far as I know, but those are things I am working on identifying myself. So in the absence of knowing, I am only able to explain to him how I feel. I make sure to be clear that what I am feeling is internal, but I emphasize that support from him may help. We talk about types of support and he says he will try to be more aware of these things and that he wants to act on them. When nothing changes, I eventually again initiate conversation... I ask if I can change things about me. He says no or brings up actions I can't genuinely carry out without feeling intimacy/emotion from him. I ask if he feels loved. He says yes. Separation comes up in these more recent conversations.
We really have trouble understanding one another (probably due to lack of communication from day 1). Before discussing what could be done to help me feel less alone, his knee jerk reactions were to tell me how doesn't understand why I am so sad after having a "good childhood," and ask why I victimize myself. I guess these are more examples of his emotional reactions which are challenging for me to follow.