Some theorists (and clinicians) think that some kind of erotic transference is an essential part of the working through. And since you seem to click so well with her and find her open and emotionally responsive (perhaps more so than any other woman you have had in your life) NOT feeling attracted to her might well indicate very serious pathology indeed ;-)

I think that it is terrific that you have developed trust in her emotional responsiveness so that you are able to share your poetry with her.

This is something that I struggle a bit with... Just because you find someone attractive... Even if it is the case that they find you attractive too... Doesn't mean that those feelings HAVE to be acted on and it also doesn't mean that there is anything wrong with those feelings. I read something somewhere just last night about how some kind of erotic attraction is the norm and that it does indeed form an important part of the working alliance / attachment.

Er... Could you talk to your therapist about some of your feelings?

I have talked about mine a little bit with my therapist... I've talked about wishing that he could hold me. That is a kind of erotic attachment, I guess. I've also thought a little about having sex with him, though I'll admit that I've never found the courage to talk to him about that! I've fairly recently become involved with someone IRL and I haven't told him that... The person actually strikes me as sharing some qualities with my therapist that are fairly important to me. Height is one striking feature (my therapist is really tall, but my bf even more so lol). They have similarly soothing voices (which my father had as well - though my father wasn't as emotionally responsive as either of them). I told him at one point that I told him I needed things to slow down... Then, after a week when he asked about how things were going with respect to the slower pace I kind of blushed and said 'er... that was last week that I wanted that'. Didn't talk to him anymore about that, however. I have great trouble talking about that kind of thing with him. Email is the way for me lol.

But yeah, erotic attraction is the norm rather than the exception. Talking through it is supposed to help but... Takes a lot of courage methinks.