Hmmmm, why do you think he had so many failed relationships????

It definitely wasn't because he treated them well. I'm sure the way he's treating you isn't any different than the way he treated all the other women in his life. That kind of behavior doesn't just pop up in someone's life.

It's NOT called being in love, it called being infatuated by someone you had a crush on at 13 & really NEVER got to know even though you gor married. Shoot, the man I married & lived with in marriage for 33 years I never really knew because of his inability to emotionally connect...(in his case I came to realize 7 years after leaving him that I had been dealing with undiagnosed Asperger's.

Sounds like you are living in a dream world of what you wish life was like & the person you DREAMED him to be rather than in reality. Would be good for you to work on mindfulness in therapy & maybe learn some DBT skills. Often women create a fictional reality in their mind based on hopes & wishes along with lies than guys feed them in order to bait the hook catching them & then reality hits. Sad this happens bu we need to take care of ourselves & not allow ourselves to be manipulated this way because we live in only our emotional mind