mehh i was in the shower this morning with all of yknow, and it hurt much more than its ever hurt before, idk. something has happened to me,,, i feel like cr*p. i mean real cr*p not the normal. im so disgusted at myself, why did this start? i hate it. i dont want it anymore. its too much. it wasnt as if i did it loads. i only did a little, but i think i did it harder and deeper. i reckon i will have about five or six really bad scars. great. im sorry to ziggy and whoever else was there, i knowthey tried their best. i need to cry but the only tears that come are red. i feel horrible. the struggle with my suicidal ideations is coming back too... not againnnn i dont want this, why did i get this? what did i do?
im sorry forget i ever wrote this
take care
self