MelloJoy, thank you! I'm almost in tears all of a sudden now after reading your reply I'm amazed that my fear doesn't seem like a threat to you!

I guess it was for my parents.. Had they acknowledged it, they would have had to face my dad's 'dark side'.. Maybe my mum would have had to face the question of whether or not she can even stay with him. I think that would have been too much for them both. My therapist says they are in a symbiotic relationship, and that it seems like they'll stay that way for the rest of their lives..

I'm so glad and immensely grateful I can share how I feel here. You all are such a great help, thank you so much