Sounds like you took a great step in seeing someone but I'm sorry to hear she wasn't in your insurance network. Could you make a goal to Look into other professionals who are on your network? From what you tell us, it does sound like depression. You deserve to know what it feels like tohave hold and to feel good about yourself. I know it's hard when you're in the thick of it, for example to find something good about yourself or something to look forward to. Can you look in the mirror and say one positive thing about your life or yourself?

I think sometimes people who work in the psych field (or in your case, in school) feel very deeply about things and are both empathetic and sensitive. But we sometimes aren't those things to ourselves. What if you had a friend or client come to you and tell you that s/he felt he was a loser, etc. what would be your advice for him/her?

Welcome to the forum and i encourage you to do some more digging and thinking and posting. You sound like a smart person going through some stuff. We are here to listen and support you.