It is this which hurts me so badly now. To be that type of T, then just change the rules very abruptly. I agree, her breathing helped my breathing...so I could calm down and TALK about my feelings rather than just cry and shut down. Sometimes, I'd hear her heartbeat, and that, too, helped me calm down enough to start talking again. All that stuff is dead in the water now. It was my belief, too, that if given to me, and help me feel safe, I would come to the point of not needing it anymore. She didn't give me that chance.