I wonder if anyone else would be interested in exploring further something Copperstar wrote earlier:
Quote:
Originally Posted by CopperStar
I think that a lot of what gets attributed to narcissism isn't actually very relevant.
At its core, narcissism is about having a deep, intense fear of shame over one's perceived flaws, which get pushed into the subconscious and replaced by a false sense of self. In other words it's a disorder of delusion that is based on fear and shame.
That core issue could manifest in a lot of different ways, with a wide variety of potential secondary symptoms and coping behaviors.
I get the impression that most "articles" on NPD out there are simply hyper-focusing on very malignant and sadistic people, traits that may or may not be a part of narcissism.
Someone with PTSD could also end up coping by being very manipulative and hostile, but we don't see articles on "How to Spot PTSD" that include, "They freak out and smash your dishes, then say it was your fault for triggering them." While some people with PTSD might do something like that, obviously that's not behavior associated with PTSD itself. Most people have an easy time understanding that.
|
It seems to me like in current popular discussions and media, “narcissists” are considered second-class citizens, not real people. I can think of a bunch of reasons why some writers and others might want to do that, some of the reasons maybe unconscious. “Let’s bring the narcissist down to size”, for instance. Nevertheless, it still seems to me that when you see the word “narcissist” it’s generally not with the understanding “human being with NPD”.
I have certain social inadequacies BECAUSE OF my personality disorder. That’s not an excuse or avoidance of accountability, in the sense that if what I have done has had certain effects, then those are the effects. But it does mean that sometimes I’m not response-able, I really do not understand how what I am doing, what I feel at the time is the “right” thing to do, is likely to affect or be perceived by another, how it is likely to seem "wrong" to them. I can understand if people without a PD cannot empathize with that, because it’s a type of experience that they have not had, just as I sometimes cannot empathize with them.
You would think that clinicians would have a better understanding that people with personality disorders are PEOPLE with personality disorders, but sometimes they don’t. Again, I can think of a bunch of reasons why they may not, but being treated like an “object”, even if you’re a person who tends to treat others that way, is not likely to help us to turn ourselves around. And when the “experts” write articles from the standpoint that people with PD’s aren’t really people, or people who count, then it’s understandable if the public generally picks up that attitude.
Anybody else had that experience?