I am 45 years old. I have been wearing diapers 24/7 for about 14 years and before that I have been wearing every night for 10 years and some times during the day. I am not incontinent however in the last 14 years I have un-potty trained my self for No.1 in my diapers. Before I go on let me tell you a little history about my self. I am dyslexic and I was potty trained about 4 1/2 years old. I have always wanted to wear diapers. I think this was what imprinted me with this. Now back at 45 years old. I have been happly married for almost 2 years now. My wife and all my friends just know me as being incontinent. My wife know about my ABDL side of me but I never told her that I am not incontinent. But by now I now I suffer from some sort of incontinent. At this point I do not want to be with out my diapers and that will more than likely never change and I am fine with that. However I have the desire to want to be fully incontinent and want to do what ever surgery to make me that way. I have tried catheters to archive this but having a tube in you is not the same and is dangerous. I feel that this want to be incontinent is similar to a trans gender wanting a sex change. I feel like a emptiness not being fully incontinent, I think much like a trans gender wanting a sex change. What I don't understand is that is social acceptable to have a sex change but not other medical modifications. Whats wrong with me, wanting to be incontinence? I feel normal other than that. I have a normal life and I am quite happy. I just keep looking for ways to make my self incontinent. Its like a life long quest and I am confused what what is wrong with me wanting this so much?