I'm sorry that you dated someone who lied to you about not wanting to commit. I know there are people out there who use kids/family as an excuse, but that certainly isn't the case all the time. Blending families can be really, really hard. I never understood how hard it was until I tried to do it. Obviously, if a situation isn't working, it's better to get out. As adults, we have to learn that TV style romances where love makes everything else okay just isn't reality. We learn that love isn't always enough to make a situation work. Life is just more complicated than that. I had to break up with a woman I loved in the past because she just couldn't get her life together career/finances wise, and I want to have kids. Kids take stability and money, and I don't want to be the sole provider. It had nothing to do with a lack of feelings/love. Same thing when life just becomes too hard when one's kids are acting out because of a new partner and none of the options you have tried work. Sometimes, relationships end because of things other than a lack of love or desire to commit. Different people have different priorities. For some, it may be stability/security. For others, it may be harmony in the home. For still others, it may be explosive passion regardless of the difficulties/consequences.