I think I always used to veer towards NPD males because I had an NPD Mother but a BPD Father. So in adult life in relationships I was wanting to magically transform the NPD 'father figure' into a BPD 'mummy figure' to find the missing elements from my childhood. So once I worked out that I was dating my own Mother and getting confused why they weren't like my BPD Father I would set about tearing them down into pieces until they put themselves back together the way I wanted them to be. If they failed it was like my parents failing me all over again on a subconscious level. It's so easy to blame others and NPD's seem to cop the worst rap but you can learn heaps about yourself once you identify who the NPD or any PD is being used as a substitute for.