I find doing therapy very painful even though I love seeing my T. I really love seeing her, so much that the relationship is what keeps me returning when the work of getting Into my trauma seems too much.
I love being with her. I don't love exploring my deepest fears and insecurities in front of her. I don't love the pain and the yearning attempts to change when change is so slow in coming. Its a lot of work. Its much easier to live how I've always lived even though I know that wasnt really working.
It depends though. Like say I was going through a terrible personal crisis like a cancer diagnosis but had no trauma history---then I could see therapy feeling very good and relieving. Unburdening yourself. So it depends WHY you are in therapy.
My therapy is like cleaning the scabs and dead tissue off of an old and infected wound. There is no way it won't hurt.
My T always says what you want to talk about is the right thing to talk about. I'll spend several sessions going on irrelevant tangents and ignoring her questions only to find after a while that I am able to speak about something I formerly couldn't find d words for. So trusting the process has become important to.me