Thank you for the detailed answer.

It's the first time I've actually told someone about this and that's partially is because it's such an awkward conversation and I don't have any relatives or friends i can talk something as whack as this seriously because in all likelihood if I explained to my parents exactly and honestly how I'm feeling they would think I'm mentally unstable and would seek a doctor of some sort.

For me , I've rarely been troubled mentally. Usually just movies which frightened me , At first it was "Mortal Kombat" then "Deep Impact" and finally "End of Days"(The only movie's i've been scared off till now , lol) all of which them i watched when i was a tad too young to understand .I remember having nightmares/ couldn't sleep at night etc. except i cant remember how long i had them for though.

I guess being mentally strong for strong , 6 years now at least - My mind may have been shocked by it. i don't think I've been so depressed and moody before or had anything trouble me this much before , so it's quite annoying/scary.. I guess the reason why i'm so scared mentally is because I'm trying to accept my own death , earlier then what i expected - since everyone dies sooner or later.lol

Yet after doing some research on schizophrenia , i realize i have some of the symptoms , it just concerned me , Considering Marijuana increase's your chances of getting Schizo , I just put 1 + 1 together. I think i may wait a while before i come to a decision on what to do.