Aviza, more than likely it is not cancer. I understand wanting a terminal illness as an excuse out of this life, but it isn't what we want or direct, it is what is handed to us. I did have four types of cancer last year and it is in remission. I have learned that as depressed as i was, each day is a new beginning and a gift. I have been told by several people how much an influence i have on their lives. And i cannot imagne that having been so sick. So you see, we do affect people, so hang in there. You have great value, you have a daughter who needs you and loves you. We all have a purpose and we just need to take it one day at a time as it unfolds. I pray things get better for you dear. tc