For me, trying to sort through patterns of bringing myself into marriage is very complicated and discovery alone couldn't possibly answer stay or leave.
I didn't need to be the sole provider, financially. I did need to be the primary caregiver to the children. Complicated responsibility where resentment goes. The moment I stopped bringing in cash, was its own litmus test. That's just a pro/con point when list making.

One thing that I thought about today, was this. As I met him, I was living at a friend's home. She made this huge incentive point as to how my moving there would bring me living closer to my mom, plus less wear and tear on my vehicle since we were practically glued at the hip. It wasn't, in hindsight, a healthy friendship and I probably wasn't in the right frame of mind to think things through as much as I needed to. Stepdad on his final weeks. Terrible job situation. Her on and off boyfriend, best friend of my on and off boyfriend. Meeting my exhusband seemed like, in hindsight of course, a way out. My mom had control issues where I was concerned being her only child. This friend was the catalyst to my meeting her sister's brother in law. Red flags, anyone??

Not really a great way to get involved with someone, though at the time my intentions didn't spell out my yearning for a rescue so clearly as they do this moment, fifteen years after the fact.

Bringing this up, because as Eskie brought up, thinking back and looking forward as a serious point to work through when feeling conflicted.

Is your marriage bringing you to a depression episode?

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