I am embarrassed and mad. Before I begin this, I want to make something perfectly clear: I love my family. I'm grateful for what they've done for me, but...ugh! OK, there was a New Years Eve block party that I went to 3 hours ago, and almost everyone I've seen brought friends, dates, whatever. Why am I embarrassed? I got stuck with my mom, who would rather just take pictures than do anything fun, and my claustrophobic grandma that doesn't even like stuff like this. They over stayed their Christmas vacation and I had to grin and bare it. My family and I don't even have much in common outside of blood relation, and to make matters worse, my current circle of friends aren't even interested in stuff like this, so I can't even hang out with them to take a break from my relatives. Why am I mad? Because it seems that I only attract incompatible or partially compatible people. I just wish that, for once, I could have a friend that I can do things with and be myself. I don't care for drinking, smoking, whatever, but the nightlife is supposed to have those rare moments that I can stop being shy, look stupid, and have fun and not regret it. If I keep doing these things with people that I'm not even comfortable being myself with, what am I supposed to look forward to if I've seen it all? I hate the incompatibility, but I hate holding myself back (outside of the Internet) even more.